Jumping the Shark

Uhhhggg! I've had it. I have to break up with them. All of them. Those crappy things I've been devoted to that just aren't producing.

I'll start with the one that bugs me the most: Blender Magazine. This magazine disappoints SO much that I actually groaned when I opened the mail box today. And you know why I groaned BEFORE I open the mag? Cause they put Miss I-don't-own-a-pair-of-pants Katy Perry on the cover. E-gads fellas. I know you're owned by Maxim and have a line item in that contract to put hotties on the cover, but Pink doesn't wear pants, rocks harder than Katy Perry and has a new album out. Plus, she's way quirkier and I'm almost SURE she's kissed a girl, she just doesn't have to sing about it. The other reasons I'm done (READ: FINISHED!) with Blender is that they have lost most of their quirkiness that makes them so damn likable. Where are the brilliantly silly captions? Where are the random song lyrics scrolling the bottom of each page? What about the latest celebrity arrests? But honestly, it's the captions I miss the most. Wherever the old caption guy went -- get him back! He was genius! That's about 85% of the reason I renewed my subscription. When you get him back, I might think about reading you again.

Heroes. I'm done. Can't watch. They have absolutely jumped the shark. I understand that it's hard work making good TV. But come one! You can do so much with super heroes! I got miffed last season when you just kept introducing new characters just to have them killed off by Sylar. Whatever happened to the girl from New Orleans? Was that a lame attempt to get a more diverse viewing audience? Heroes -- you make me sad. And I just can't have that kind of negativity in my life right now. I'm sorry, but it's over.

Fall Heat. Gross. So sue me-- I'm not in love with SoCal weather. I'm from the east coast and really enjoy Fall. I would go so far as to say it's 1 of my top 4 favorite seasons. Colors. Swetta Weatha. Chilly mornings and football games! It's going to be 96 in LA tomorrow! Jeesh! Shame on you L.A. for making me sweat when I'd rather not.

Ham Butter

So while researching a recipe for biscuits to make with dinner I stumbled upon this:

Biscuits with Ham Butter

"'Whether as a finger food or brunch dish, these are a great way to use leftover ham,' advises Andrea *&#^@ of Unionville, Tennessee."

Can anyone please think of a good joke about ham butter?

Plant Thieves

I woke up this morning to take my CBEST test and as I was leaving my house I noticed that someone had swiped one of my potted plants right out of it's pot! It wasn't my favorite plant, but COME ON!

Maybe one of the regular 'Can Collectors' took it. Those are the peeps in my neighborhood who come by EVERY morning with their shopping carts looking through our recycling bins trawling for cans and plastic bottles. And as annoying it is to have a shopping cart rumbling along the concrete sidewalk right outside your bedroom window at 6:30 in the morning, I am all for those can-trepeneurs. At least the stuff gets recycled! Brad and I took our recyclabes in the other day and got $5 back. Hootenanny! That's like 2 apples at Whole Foods or 5 double cheeseburgers at McDonalds!

I vote for Cute!

See why I want Tina Fey to be my friend?

3z

Three Names you go by:
1. Mrs. Sroka (not yet really…..)
2. Bee
3. Bibbs

Three Things That Scare You:
1. Falling on my face and breaking my teeth
2. Someone I love dying unexpectedly
3. Being bored for the rest of my life

Three of Your Everyday Essentials:
1. Stretching
2. Cold drinking water and my Sigg
3. Laughing

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. My wedding ring
2. Pants! Pants! Pants!
3. Inevitably, something from The Gap

Three of Your Favorite Songs Right Now:
1. Conor Oberst – Either ‘Sausalito’ or ‘Danny Callahan’
2. Rhianna – ‘Disturbia’
3. Miley Cyrus – ‘Breakout’ (I’m embracing my inner 12 year old)

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love):
1. Humour (with a ‘u’)
2. Empathy
3. Uplifting-ness

Three Truths:
1. I don’t like purists
2. The more I learn, the more I don’t know
3. I am responsible for my own happiness

Three PHYSICAL Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You:
1. Smile
2. Kind eyes
3. GREAT calves. Mmmmm.

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Home Ec (I’m not kidding)
2. Being silly
3. Walking

Three Things You want to do really badly right now:
1. Work on television. Not on, but behind. You know what I mean.
2. Get a dog!
3. Leave my ‘job’ and Find my place.

Three Places You Want to go:
1. Home
2. Jerusalem
3. Brazil

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. Grow my own food
2. Have children with Brad
3. Vote for a Presidential candidate that wins

Three Ways that you are stereotypically a Girl/Guy:
1. I have a lot of shoes
2. I like my husband to take out the trash
3. I cry at ‘The Notebook’ (damn you, Nicholas Sparks!)

Three Famous People You’d Like to Be Friends With:
1. Ellen DeGeneres
2. Tina Fey
3. Will Smith

New Apartment

It's official: stairs are out. first floors are in. What Brad and I spent nearly 3 sweaty days moving out of our third floor attic, we moved in to our new apartment in 1.5 hours. Our new apartment is nice. We're even getting to paint our walls. We've choosen mostly food colors. Applesauce for the living room, asparagus for the bath! I'll post pics when it's finished!

I LIKE TV.

Do you know that almost NO NBC shows are in the top ratings on Nielson? Is that complete crap? What is this country watching!??

I'll tell you: DANCING WITH THE STARS. And America is not satisfied with just one night of this stuff, Dancing with the Stars: Tuesday is like number 5!

America - you are being had! Start watching GOOD programming. I will admit that I, too have succumbed to the every-so-often 3 hour "Law and Order" marathon; I have sat through 2 whole minutes of "The Singing Bee"; and I will watch a whole hour of "Desperate Housewives of Orange County". But between all of these sad moments in my life - I watch GOOD tv.

Here's my enjoyment factor list for what I'm watching now:

1. 30 Rock
2. Weeds
3. Heroes
4. SNL

The studios need to pay their writers so SNL can come back. (My heart hurt because I missed out on seeing Michael Cera host SNL at Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater a few weeks ago.) But I am getting a kick out of seeing Amy Poehler and Will Arnett's goofy smiles on the Gap windows on 5th ave on my way to work.

I'm only watching Heroes at this point because I'm committed and need to see how/if they can wrap it all up.

30 Rock is genius and I wish Tina Fey would hire me as her assistant. ("This Earth is ruined. We need a new one!" -- love that) PS - Alec Baldwin just makes me giggle.



And i'll refer you to my latest entry on the secret reason I watch Weeds.